One of the most feared words to hear from someone that you are courting or interested in is that you have become just friends with them. By entering the supposed friend zone you have lost all chance of ever getting together with them and realizing a relationship. When it comes to matters of the heart, nothing is simple. So the real question to be asking yourself is not whether you are in the friend zone but whether the friend zone exists at all.
Don’t Be Too Pushy
When it comes to handling relationships, it is easy to bolster yourself up too large or to just be too timid. Finding the comfortable zone where both of you are happy is tough and it is okay to not find it right away. There is a lot of stigma that if you come off poorly initially then you will end up friend zoned and out of luck. While this may seem like it is backed up empirically through past experiences and through peer information, a lot of that is entirely false. It may seem to you that you have entered the zone of no return in a relationship when the truth of the matter is that you never really stood a chance for any number of reasons. Alternatively, you have placed yourself in a spot where you have killed all of your confidence and made yourself feel as if you can no longer ask them out for whatever failing you feel you have committed. This may sound like forced justification but it is much more true than anyone would like to admit.
Don’t Be Too Comfortable
Some of the tell tale signs of being in the friend zone are that your love interest is completely comfortable around you and will divulge almost anything to you. This is also often indicative of a good friendship. It is possible that neither you nor they wish to ruin a strong friendship when acquiring close friends is so difficult to do. It is also possible that this cements that they never had any interest in you and it is this dispelling of sexual tension that allows them to open up to you and divulge parts of themselves that are otherwise hidden. It is worth noting the irony in that this information is anecdotal and empirical rather than scientific. It is still a good viewpoint to consider all the same. While it may be impossible to entirely dispel the notion that the friend zone exists, it is possible to dispel the concerns associated with it.
The idea that someone will never date you once you have entered the friend zone is silly. Either they were interested in you or they were not. There is no sudden on and off switch. By showing interest and affection you can increase the romantic interest of someone else. If you shown no romantic interest or affection then they are not inclined to either. It is a very simple social response to respond with positive feelings when you are shown positive feelings. If you are having no luck with eliciting a romance response from your love interest then they just are not into you. At no point is there a sublime ignorance that is associated with the friend zone unless you, yourself are perpetuating it through inaction. In short, you reap what you sow. If you make actions to demonstrate your feelings in a clear manner towards your romantic interests, the no matter how long you have known each other, they will respond to you positively or negatively. If you try to play coy and avoid revealing your feelings and intentions then do not blame anyone else when they do not realize that you like them and reciprocate these feelings. And it does happen, don’t be too discouraged. This happened to my friend who was a pediatric nurse, but she got over it and got the cutest boyfriend.