One of the most feared words to hear from someone that you are courting or interested in is that you have become just friends with them. By entering the supposed friend zone you have lost all chance of ever getting together with them and realizing a relationship. When it comes to matters of the heart, nothing is simple. So the real question to be asking yourself is not whether you are in the friend zone but whether the friend zone exists at all.
Don’t Be Too Pushy
When it comes to handling
relationships, it is easy to bolster yourself up too large or to just be too
timid. Finding the comfortable zone where both of you are happy is tough and it
is okay to not find it right away. There is a lot of stigma that if you come
off poorly initially then you will end up friend zoned and out of luck. While
this may seem like it is backed up empirically through past experiences and
through peer information, a lot of that is entirely false. It may seem to you
that you have entered the zone of no return in a relationship when the truth of
the matter is that you never really stood a chance for any number of reasons.
Alternatively, you have placed yourself in a spot where you have killed all of
your confidence and made yourself feel as if you can no longer ask them out for
whatever failing you feel you have committed. This may sound like forced
justification but it is much more true than anyone would like to admit.
Don’t Be Too Comfortable
Some of the tell tale
signs of being in the friend zone are that your love interest is completely
comfortable around you and will divulge almost anything to you. This is also
often indicative of a good friendship. It is possible that neither you nor they
wish to ruin a strong friendship when acquiring close friends is so difficult
to do. It is also possible that this cements that they never had any interest
in you and it is this dispelling of sexual tension that allows them to open up
to you and divulge parts of themselves that are otherwise hidden. It is worth noting
the irony in that this information is anecdotal and empirical rather than
scientific. It is still a good viewpoint to consider all the same. While it may
be impossible to entirely dispel the notion that the friend zone exists, it is
possible to dispel the concerns associated with it.
The idea that someone will never date you once you have entered the friend zone is silly. Either they were interested in you or they were not. There is no sudden on and off switch. By showing interest and affection you can increase the romantic interest of someone else. If you shown no romantic interest or affection then they are not inclined to either. It is a very simple social response to respond with positive feelings when you are shown positive feelings. If you are having no luck with eliciting a romance response from your love interest then they just are not into you. At no point is there a sublime ignorance that is associated with the friend zone unless you, yourself are perpetuating it through inaction. In short, you reap what you sow. If you make actions to demonstrate your feelings in a clear manner towards your romantic interests, the no matter how long you have known each other, they will respond to you positively or negatively. If you try to play coy and avoid revealing your feelings and intentions then do not blame anyone else when they do not realize that you like them and reciprocate these feelings. And it does happen, don’t be too discouraged. This happened to my friend who was a pediatric nurse, but she got over it and got the cutest boyfriend.
