How to Handle Negative Body Language
If you’ve ever read any
articles on body language – especially when it comes to meeting and dating
women – I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about the concept of “mirroring”.
Mirroring is a term that is exactly what it sounds like. When you mirror someones body language, the idea is that you mimic your body to the way they have theirs – as if you’re looking in a mirror. If they are sitting in a chair relaxed, you are sitting in a chair relaxed. If their arms are unfolded and resting on the table, so are yours. You get the picture. The reason behind mirroring is that we feel more comfortable around people that are like us.
thing that these articles fail to mention is the concept of mirroring when it
comes to negative body language. Infact it is never mentioned.
Which we find very disturbing, since we find negative body language more
importnat in most cases then mirroring.
Negative body language is any kind of orientation that is not in your favor. This could include the woman you are talking to leaning AWAY from you, turning away from you, talking to you over her shoulder, texting while she’s talking to you, etc.
What most men will do in this case, is they will chase her body language. If she is leaning out, they will lean in. Big mistake.
The main concept to remember is that you should still be mirroring her bad body language, not rewarding it. When I say “rewarding it” what I am referring to is that moment when you go to get closer to her and she pulls away. Naturally that makes you want to lean in more as it now becomes a chase, but you should be doing quite the opposite. The second she gives you any negativity, your body language should mirror that. Take note, I said your body language, NOT your facial expressions. Your facial expressions should ALWAYS remain positivity even when faced with a negative person. How can you possibly let someone that barely knows you affect your mood?
So here is the general rule of thumb. Always mirror body language: negatvie AND positive. Please take note, that there is always an element of cat and mouse when it comes to attraction. Meaning: negative body language is ok in some situations where rapport hasn’t been built yet, but only if it is you giving the negative body language to her! In our 1on1 coaching sessions we go indepth into psychology of it and most effective ways to absorb it. In the meantime, do your homework as a prelude.
Homework: Next time you meet a girl and she gives you negative body language (her hips are turned away from you, she’s talking to you over her shoulder or she’s pulling away), mirror her negative body language immediately. Coversely, next time you meet a girl that shows interest in you, turn your back to her completely for a few seconds when she begins to show interest, then turn back – do this several times in the first 5 to 10 minutes of an interaction. I guarantee you will be surprised at what you find!