Going on a first date can be nerve racking – especially if it’s the first date you’ve gone on in a while. In fact, while on a date, most men will plague themselves with questions such as “ What do I talk about? What does my date think of me? Is she having fun? Or the worst —Will I get a second date?
You see, bogging your brain with all of these worries and concerns is a good way NOT to get a second date. Whether you realize it or not, when you get too ahead of yourself, you sabotage your chances.
Follow these tips on how to act on a first date and you should have no problem at all securing Date #2.
First and foremost, when making plans for the date, do just that: MAKE THE PLANS. Nothing infuriates a woman more than when a guy can’t make a decision and asks, “Well what do you want to do?” Be a man and take the lead. And on that note, make the plans at least a good solid 3-5 days beforehand. This shows a girl you are serious. This also gives a girl time to prepare. And be considerate: Women may be intuitive but they’re not mind readers. If you plan on going on an activity date, let her know so she can dress accordingly. Nothing is worse than walking for miles in high heels!
Don’t go absent in those days leading up to the date. This is a good time to use a text message just to let the girl know you’re still there and look forward to seeing her. It builds attraction and let’s tension mount.
Now, if you live in NYC, chances are you will probably have to meet your date at the planned location. BE ON TIME. In the event you are not in a big metropolitan city and you have a car, for God’s sake, pick her up and again, be on time!
Play it cool
When you arrive at your destination, while you may be nervous, still remain confident. Let conversation be light. Be fun. Don’t interrogate her with questions. If you find that she is the one doing the interrogating, learn ways to deflect or downplay a question you do not want to answer. Remember, it’s a FIRST DATE. Someone need not know every detail or fact about your life. Mimic her energy level. Try to match the expressions she uses when she tells a story. (Hint: people tend to like people that remind them of themselves. Avoid controversial topics such as: religion, politics, or your job).
Suck it up and be a MAN
When it comes time to pay the bill, PAY THE BILL. I know a lot of guys like when the girl does “the reach” but if it’s a first date and you asked her out, YOU PAY. It’s un-lady like for a girl to assume she is paying her half for the first date and it should be insulting to you if she offers to pay. People split the bill when they are out with friends. If you automatically assume she should at least “reach” to prove she’s not a gold digger, then you need to immediately need to change your attitude about women and dating.
Have a Plan B
Now, if the date hasn’t dragged out too long at this point, and you are having a good time, position yourself in a neighborhood that you can continue the date to a second location.
Take it one day at a time
Lastly, when the date ends, don’t already be making future plans – even if the date went well. While it shows interest, in the event the girl is not interested or still deciding, it comes off as a bit needy or desperate. Instead, tell her you had a great time and that you will call her, just don’t say when you will call her. This allows for mystery, as she doesn’t know when she will hear from you. The bottom line is, if you want to see her again don’t say “nothing” at all at the end of the date – this doesn’t make you more desirable, it makes you seem flakey. Trust me, I’m a woman.
And remember. Two people may be great people, but it doesn’t mean that they have to be great TOGETHER. When chemistry just isn’t there or something doesn’t work out, look at it as God telling you “it wasn’t meant to be” and move on. However, in the event there is chemistry, be sure to follow up in 2 days.
Dating isn’t simple, but it’s not impossible either. Just look your best and act your best and if you follow all these tips, you should have no problem getting a second date.