Ah yes, the friendzone. 

That lonely space that comes between you and the female friend you have a crush on. Sure, when you spend enough time around someone of the opposite sex, it can be natural to develop feelings for them. And according to a recent study being “Just friends” is often more of a burden for men then benefit. Here at IDCA we would like to lighten up that burden by giving you actionable advice on how to avoid the friend zone. 

So, to not get yourself in the “just friends” category, follow these simple yet often invisible steps.  
1) Move from group social meetings to date quickly: More often than not, when a guy develops feelings for his female friend it is because he’s spent some amount of time with her. However, when these interactions are in a group setting, it do you no good, you must meet her one on one. To be clear, talking to her outside of the bar for 20 minutes does not constitute as a date. It is necessary for you to make plans with her and just her from the get go. The more time you spend in a setting without your friends and familiar faces you allow attraction to build while with friends, it will likely never to leave the ground level. Either way, you need to set up some alone time with her to figure out if there is a mutual attraction that goes beyond the parameters of friendship.

2) Take a risk: Sure, you might not be BFF with her anymore if you try to make a pass at her and she rejects it but what’s the worse that could happen? To be a man is to take risks and a woman is looking to you to lead the way (As a woman, i cant advise you enough to lead more when it comes to dating). Tip: She’ll always foregive you for being a man. So, if you don’t attempt to make your intentions known by going in for a kiss or moving in closer to her, then you may as well never consider yourself friendzoned. Remember, guys don’t start off in the friendzone, they put themselves there by inaction and waiting too long to show their intentions.  Manning up in this part is really important because it allows her to see your confident/leader traits.  

3) Be realistic: Recent findings show that sexual attraction within a friendship is seen as more of a “burden” that a benefit. In general, men report to have more sexual interest in their female friends than vice versa. Therefore carrying on a friendship with a girl you have sexual feelings for can cause more hassle than it’s worth and in some cases hurt your chances with other women. Why? The easiest way to answer this question is to ask your dad how many close female friends he has. If he’s anything like my dad, chances are that the number is zero. So while some girls may be good friends now, they more than likely won’t be that close of a friend in the future due to natural circumstances. Put more time and energy into your male friendships. And if you choose to have female friends, that is still ok, just be honest with your intentions early on to avoid the dreaded friendzone. 

3 actionable steps to avoid the Friend Zone: 

A) Make sure that after you’ve met a girl through friends (say a few times, but not a handfull) get her number and move it to a one
on one date. 

B) The longer you wait getting to know her as “friend” the less likely you are to date her. Take the risk and ask her out sooner then later. 

C) If you have a number of female friends, examine your feelings about them. If you feel that being friends with her is more of a hassle then a benefit, take a risk and ask her out. Worst case scenario will be that she will say no and your friendship will be gone, but since you didn’t want that friendship in the first place, you are actually better off. Or even better, she might say yes and then you can celebrate and send us some champagne.

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